Tough week

Ugh! It has been a rough week. The anniversary of my dad's death was Tuesday, and while I think I am mentally prepared for it....yeah well. I was actually really good almost all day. I planned a bike ride and weight lifting in the morning, and then I hung out with Jim. So far so good. But as the time got closer and closer to the actual time of his death I felt myself losing ground.

I had choir also that night which normally wouldn't have been a trigger, but it being the anniversary and Silent Night being my dad's favorite Christmas carol....again lost more ground. Fought tears off and on throughout the rehearsal.

When I got home, I was alone. Jim was at work, and Nate stayed at my mom's. Normal past behavior would have dictated a full on binge. I was a bit nervous because I came home hungry. However, I had a small container of soup and some crackers and called it good. I was extremely proud of myself.

I acknowledged my sadness, watched a sad show on TV to give myself a "good" reason to cry, had my soup, then went to bed feeling still sad, but also strong. I am not sure that I have ever done that before. I don't always give into a craving to binge, but I know that I hardly ever give myself permission to feel. So I will call the day a success.

The rest of this week has been pretty blah. Nothing exciting to report regarding my eating or exercise. I weigh in tomorrow, and I will try to blog tomorrow regarding the results :)