Saturday was a pretty rough day for me. I was having a hard time with the big picture concept of this journey. As I have said before, the big picture is overwhelming to me sometimes. It just seems like it is going to be a long, difficult journey. And every once in awhile it seems just too difficult.
Saturday was one of those days. For about four hours Saturday afternoon, I was this close to throwing in the towel. It was a scary place to be. I had a lot of negative self talk that went something like this:
You won't succeed anyway, so you might as well eat donuts.
I don't want to count every calorie that I eat for the rest of my life, so I might as well stop now.
This is just too hard, and I don't want to do hard.
Sick, huh? Fortunately, it did only last about four hours...but those four hours were hell! Once I made and ate a very healthy and filling dinner I was okay again. And I have been fine ever since. I noticed though that my hardest days are days that I haven't exercised. That's a problem all in itself since I have to have a rest day every now and again, but I need to figure out my head on those days.
So that's where I am at right now...back on track but a scary day that I almost couldn't deal with. I am proud that I did not give in to that little voice, but I would like to work on that voice disappearing or at the very least getting quieter.
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