Weekends have been hard since I got sick. Nate is not the most self sufficient kid on the planet...my fault I know....and he wants constant attention from his mama. My mom actually called yesterday morning to invite Nate to go to breakfast with her and papa, but because I was not going to go Nate said no. Sigh. I think that in my head I thought having mono would actually make him more self sufficient. I think it is backfiring. I am always home right now. I don't go to work. I don't go to the gym. He is getting more and more used to seeing me ALL the time. Ick.
While I am not proud of myself for doing this, I find myself saying more and more, "could you just go watch some tv or play a video game!" How is that for good parenting???? Of course, then I feel guilty, but even playing a board game with Nate can wipe me out. Over this past weekend I played countless hands of UNO and several games of Sorry. A headache woke me up way too early this morning, and now I am EXHAUSTED!!!
The guilt and frustration over this mono business is getting to my good nature. Do you have the problem that when you are very tired you crave simple carbs??? I do. I think that subconsciously I want it to boost my energy, which may work in the short term if you just got less sleep the night before. However, with mono you are tired ALL the time. I am constantly thinking that if I eat something I will perk up. That is really the wrong way to go here!!!!
Therefore, my goal just for today is to say no to food unless I am REALLY hungry!!! It will be hard I know...probably harder than I can imagine at 7:15am, but that is my goal.
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