Monday, January 17, 2011

A little more upbeat...I think

Blah! That last post was a negative Nelly post! I was going to delete it, but then decided that it did have some merit. There are things about me that I would change personality-wise, and there are things about me that I love.

I love:

That I am able to encourage my friends and family sincerely in all that they strive to accomplish.

That I am really strong in the moment of crisis ( I just fall apart later).

That I am smart.

That I have a decent sense of humor (although my husband thinks otherwise).

That I am physically very strong.

That I am fiercely independent.

What I don't love about me:

I am judgmental at times.

That I let small upsets rule my mood instead of just getting "over it".

That when I say something that is perceived differently than I intended, I get all bent out of shape.

That I am pretty closed mouthed with those closest to me about what I am "really" feeling.

That being vulnerable scares the H*LL out of me.

That when I am overwhelmed, instead of breaking things into manageable parts I end up spinning my wheels more than I care to admit.

That I am fiercely independent.

Okay...so there ya have it. I want to better the whole me. I want to "fix" these personality quirks that end up sending me over the edge to bingeland. I am extremely proud of myself for not binging at all in just about 4 months. I have done really well at recognizing emotional hot spots, acknowledging my feelings, feeling those d*mn feelings, and riding the wave back to feeling "normal". I want to continue to feel successful in this journey.

Yes, my feelings were hurt today but so were those of the person that hurt mine. I wish that we could figure out a way to not be pushing those buttons all the time. Maybe we will eventually but until then, I will just acknowledge my own feelings and let them go :)

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