What if....

What if...two very powerful words when put together. I have made it a goal to never have regrets...knowing that I would not be the person that I am today without the choices that have been made along the way. However, my mom and I saw the movie Letters to Juliet over the weekend and What if was a common theme throughout. It got me thinking...

Some of the bigger choices/decisions in my life were to go to college here in Arizona rather than go back to Illinois. If I had gone to Illinois, I would not be married to Jim and I would not have Nate.

I was planning on going into the Peace Corps after college graduation, but my application was denied for not having a foreign language that was practical (mine was sign language). If I had gone, no Jim...no Nate.

Moving to Prescott from Tucson was not a good career move for me, but we wouldn't have Nate. I would never have decided to have a child in Tucson (too scary and big).

These are just a couple of things that I can think of off the top of my head, and there are millions more in my 42 years of life that have brought me to this exact point. I am trying to learn to like myself again. I am trying to get my head on straight with regards to my health and fitness. I am trying to be the best that I can be right now.

I feel a bit like I am at a crossroads. There are decisions and choices to be made. There is a bit of fear involved since some of them could impact the rest of my life. I would love to have a career that I love. I haven't had the desire to have a job in a really long time, but I am ready. I just want to make the right choices. I want to wake up in the morning excited to get on with my day...not just trudge through it. Gosh this all sounds a bit like a mid-life crisis...hmmm....is it?