Home alone

Jim is in Phoenix today seeing his doctor, and Nate is at school. I am home alone. The last time I was home alone was a very dark day for me. It was hard to not have any energy and just be alone with my thoughts. My thoughts can be very depressing. Today though is a little different. I don't feel great, but I don't feel horrible either. I didn't think that I felt good enough to walk, but decided that my kitchen needs a good deep cleaning. So far I have cleaned two of the four counter tops, the stove top, and the microwave. It is looking pretty good. My counters haven't been this cleaned off in a couple of months, and it makes me feel like I am spring cleaning.

I love to spring clean. I love the idea of a fresh start. I always think of my birthday as a clean slate, but really everyday we get a do over. I sometimes have a hard time thinking in terms of that. I can wake up beating myself up for something that I did yesterday but really, what good does it do? Nada. I can't change what has already happened. All I can do is try to make better choices today. Hmmm...I like that.

I have a do over today. Even if I get nothing else finished today, I have cleaned more than was cleaned yesterday. And...it looks good. A little bit at a time as my energy level permits and my house should be clean by July..LOL.

I have lots going on this week. I have a haircut and color today. Tomorrow is counseling, and Wednesday is more acupuncture. I am hopefully on the the downhill of mono...my fatigue isn't as acute anymore. I would love to get my life a bit under control...it feels as if it has spiraled out of my control over the last two months, but slowly I am getting my to-do list done and things will look brighter.

So that is that...today is a bit brighter than yesterday. A do over is always good :)