I have some terrific friends. I have some terrific acquaintances. I have some mediocre friends, and then I have some people that I just don't want to call friend anymore. If I have such great relationships with a few people, why do I choose to focus on the ones that have ended? I wish I knew that. I think that if I knew why I am focusing on the "bad" relationships then I could have some insight into why I am stuffing the feelings down with food.
There are a couple of people that have seriously hurt me in the last couple of months. And I mean hurt me enough that I don't have any desire to mend fences. So why am I focusing on them? If they hurt me so badly that I don't want to be around them, then why this fixation? My guess is that there is no closure. No one said, "I don't want to be your friend anymore." But..if that had been said would I be feeling any better right now? I doubt that too. I don't believe for one minute that I am innocent in the demise of the relationships, but I do wish that I had been told how they were feeling before anything unrepairable had been done. Sigh...
No one is perfect, and part of my imperfection is that I eat when I am emotionally hurt. I don't like to feel pain so I do things (mainly eat) to not have to feel that pain. I need to learn to feel the pain, let it all out, and then release it forever more....huh...that seems way too hard today :(
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