I don't know how to balance it all

I am posting here because I don't want to post on my Bootcamp site.  I am feeling less than athletic, less than smart, less than nutritious, less than "all put together", and I don't know how to get out of this spiral :(

There is so much that has happened in the last 6 months. 

I was put in a walking boot this past summer, and that is probably the beginning of the end of my healthiness journey.  I was depressed.  I couldn't do anything exercise-wise except swim.  That is a very volatile combination in my world.  I ate.  And I ate.  And I ate some more.  Blah.

I am out of the walking boot now (since end of July).  My Achilles feels great most of the time, but I find myself favoring it.  I am wearing orthotics in my shoes.  They are wonderful on my Achilles...not so much on my opposite knee.  My personal theory about my knee though is if I would just lose the weight that I have gained...it would not hurt so much :(

My husband had a scary doctor appointment in August that threw us both for a loop.  I don't deal well with stress...so I ate some more :(  I am not going to go into the details but suffice it to say that this will rock our world eventually and not in a good way.

So....a direct result in my Achilles not liking step aerobics AT ALL and the potential scary medical stuff...I took a full time job at my son's school.  I am the kindergarten aide in the classroom. 

I have not had a full time job since Nate was about 3.  It has been a difficult transition.  I am trying to find the balance to work, workout, eat right, and be wife and mother..ARRRRGGGGHHH!  Balance is really hard.  I know that I need a plan.  I know that I need a few plans.  I know that I need to journal my food and count calories, but I am just so tired working full time that it all seems so overwhelming. 

I was hoping that by writing everything down here today that I would feel motivated to have a game plan.  I want to get through the holidays with no weight gain!  And honestly I would love some weight loss. 

Here I am again.  Broken.  Sad.  In desperate need to start this journey again :(  I really never wanted to be in this position again.  I have to face the music though.  It is time.  It is today.